Open up Let the Light in

I was a girl who exhausted myself by trying to be the perfect child in every way to be less trouble for my parents. They always seemed to have their hands full with life. I just wanted to make things easy.  It had not crossed my mind to works for God and because I didn’t see Him as a visible being for most of my life. I didn’t even know how to please God aside from going to church. 

I wondered what it would be like to let the God into my life. I was curious what it would be like to devote myself to something so completely that nothing could move me or shake me. I have seen the world of religion from both a personal standpoint and an academic study. I have seen people so devoted to God and they never seemed to grow weary. They just kept going and doing for God. I had admired them from afar most of my life because I didn’t really understand why they did so much for God. I couldn’t see the motivation behind it unless it was to get into heaven. I thought that if I believed Jesus was my Savior and asked for forgiveness I would end up in heaven but without having to do all those things. 

So why did all these people do these works? 

In my opinion, there are some people out there who are doing good works for God to please other people, to show they are “good”, or because it is the trendy thing to do. I have found that doing works for these reasons usually causes burnout and sometimes for the person to walk away from God. I have seen this happen to many people because they are still in the world mindset of needing to do things as opposed to first having a relationship with God. 

Before I became a believer I didn’t understand doing works and getting nothing out of it. I know it was a selfish mindset but why would I do things for others when they were doing nothing for me. I was in the mind frame of the world. I could see how people abused each other and tore them down. I was not willing to sacrifice my sanity or others. Yet, I was a people pleaser….yes I know this makes no sense.  

Now, that I am a follower of Christ and I have really given my life over to Him my mind and especially my motivations have changed. I haven’t done things because I have to but because I love Him. I do things out of love for Him. It is a lot like any other friendship or love relationship. You buy them dinner because you love them, money doesn’t matter because you love them, and you do special things for them just to see them smile. 

If I didn’t let God’s love and Holy Spirit in my whole life, how was I ever going to give to other people outside of my comfort zone? Even with love and the Holy Spirit if I wasn't really spending time with the Lord then I would expect to get burnt out as a believer.

There can be so much darkness and tragedy in the world and we need time with God. We all have choices we can either listen to the darkness or we can look for the light. I wonder how many different people have just given into a life of darkness or this is as good as it gets. I know for a long time I had lost hope that my life would get better. 

Matt 5_16 light.png

Sometimes we resist and say no not this time, or I have got this now.  There are many times when I have given it all to God and tried to take some of it back. I wanted to work out my own problems and I could manage my finances better than He could. I wanted to date this guy I thought was so great and right here in front of me. Every single one of those times it ended in more pain and more complications than I was in before I started.

So is letting God in so simple? I suppose this can be answered in three different ways. Yes, no, and I have not idea what you are talking about. God is the light and the light of the world. It is easy to let God in if you want Him, but usually you have to come to a point where you are done living your life for yourself. It is easy if you have reached the bottom. If you are tired of the pain and exhaustion that is overwhelming you. Jesus is right there waiting with open arms.

God is good. His mercy endures forever. God’s grace is there before you even ask for it. He is waiting for you to notice Him. You are the apple of His eye. Open up let the light in.

-Esme